Therapist Falcon
by Solo's Orca
Summary: The Falcon talks to Han about Leia and Bria, quite random but quite sweet as well. Set between ANH and ESB. New chapter, the Falcon talks to Leia!
1. Chapter 1

**This is a random story that came to me whilstI was in chemistry, the lesson I get most of my imspiration in.** **Basically what happens is Han talks to the _Falcon _about Leia and the ship talks back, hehehe. It's set at some point between ANH and ESB.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything at all.**

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Han stomped up the ramp and angrily walked into the cockpit of the _Millennium Falcon_. The reason he was so annoyed and angry was because he had just had an argument with the princess, but there wasn't really anything unusual with that.

"Women," he snapped irritably throwing himself into the pilot's chair, "when you try and do something nice they just throw it back in your face!" The _Falcon _shuddered slightly, "sorry," Han apologized to his ship patting the dashboard, "but even you break down when you're annoyed at me." Han believed that ships, if they were old enough, had a soul, which stopped him freaking out whenever the _Falcon_ did something which other ships didn't do.

"I mean," Han said getting back to complaining about Leia, "All I did was ask her if she was okay, she did look pale and she just walked off as if I wasn't there." The ship was silent, but Han carried on, "so I went after her to see if she was okay and she started to yell at me."

'Well you should have given her some space.' The message appeared on one of screens. The _Falcon _would sometimes give messages to Han, he had no idea whether she had ever done it to her other owners, but no one had ever mentioned YT-1300's talking to their owners.

"Your really helpful," Han snapped at the ship, from outside he heard Chewie come aboard.

"Who are you talking to?" The wookiee asked from the corridor

"The ship!" Han yelled back. Chewie rolled his eyes and walked off to the engine room at the back, although he often talked to the ship, usually cursing it for breaking down, he never got an answer, Han however seemed to use the _Falcon _as a therapist.

Once he was sure Chewie was gone Han continued, "Even if I told her that I loved her she would just think I was joking."

'Do you love her?' The _Falcon_ asked.

"That's not the point!" Han snapped.

'Yes it is. Do you love her?'

"Am I the only person you talk to?" Han asked, trying to get the subject away from the gray area of his feelings for Leia.

'Yes. _Do you love her?_'

"Your not going to give up are you?"

'No. Answer me.'

"Why are you ordering _me_ around? Technically it should be the other way round." Han said.

'Do you want me to break down next to a black hole?'

"Well not unless Vader's in you," Han laughed.

'Am I supposed to find that funny?'

"Don't worry sweetie I wouldn't let Vader anywhere near you."

'Do you love me?' The _Falcon_ asked after some time.

"Yeah, I guess I do, but not in the same was as-"

'As Leia?'

"You're not tricking me like that!" Han snapped, anger rising in him.

'Men!' The _Falcon_ 'sighed', 'why are you all so stubborn?'

"It's a genetic defect," Han explained.

'Great, you do realize that I've only had male owners and all of them were like _you_!'

"And what is so bad about that?" Han asked slightly offended.

'Well', the ship started, 'you all _never_ admitted your feelings and then moaned to me!' It seemed like the _Falcon_ had wanted to get all of this off her chest, or engines in her case, 'I've decided to talk to _you_ because it is so annoying to just watch as you lot just go and miss the most important things in your lives.'

"So why did you keep spraying Bria with oil?"

'I didn't like her. She hurt you'

"You were jealous," Han concluded.

'I was not! How can a ship be jealous of a stuck-up idiot?'

"How could you hate her then!"

The _Falcon _remained silent

"I see I've touched a nerve," Han said quietly, "So _if _I do love Leia and _if _we do fall in love, will you be squirting her with oil."

'No, I like Leia.'

"I still don't know how you can like and dislike, but you can't be jealous."

'It's complicated.'

"But you weren't fitted with a personality thingee," Han argued.

'That doesn't mean I don't have a soul.'

"Fine, I'll just say you're special."

'Thank you.' Han rolled his eyes, 'I saw that,' she snapped.

"Han are you in here!" A voice called.

"That's Leia," Han said, "why is she here?"

'Just go and tell her how you feel,' The _Falcon_ urged him on.

"You mean highly irritated?"

A pair of rolling eyes appeared on the screen.

"Stupid ship," Han snapped, "Leia I'm in here!" He called.

Leia walked along to the corridor to the cockpit.

"Han I'm sorry about earlier," she began once she reached the door and tried to open it, "Han, why isn't the door opening?"

"Hang on," Han's muffled voice said from behind the door. There was the sound of the lock button being pressed, then when there was no effect she heard him banging on the door. "She's locked it!" he shouted.

"Who's _she_?" Leia asked, pain welled up inside her at the though of Han with another woman, but she soon squashed them down.

"The _Falcon_," Han explained.

"Han," Leia said in a matter-a-fact voice, "Why would your ship lock the door?"

"Because I called her 'stupid'."

"You talk to your ship?" Leia asked slightly confused, "does it talk back?" She added mockingly.

"Yes, and she locked the door."

"Right," Leia said, "Well I've got to do some work. I'll see you later."

"Great," Han snapped at the _Falcon_, "why did you do that? She now thinks I'm mad!"

'I couldn't open the lock,' the ship defended herself.

"I'm sure you couldn't," Han said sarcastically sitting down, "I though you wanted us to-" he sought for words, "get together."

'I do.' The door slid open.

"You're jealous," Han concluded again after he slipped out the door, which closed loudly behind him. And he ran to try and catch up with Leia.

The _Falcon_ sighed inwardly as Han left her, _I am not jealous _she told herself.

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6(ish) years later (on the _Falcon_)

"Well Sweetheart we're married at last," Han said smiling at his bride in his arms.

"Yep," Leia said smiling back and kissing him, "So where are we off to?"

"I've heard Tatooine's a good honeymoon spot," Han joked.

"Idiot," Leia said, but couldn't help laughing, "We'd better get going or they'll think something is wrong." She was referring to the small group of well wishers mixed in with the huge group of paparazzi.

Han kissed her passionately and then said, "You wait here and I'll set the ship off," with that he went to the cockpit.

Leia watched her new husband go and then, once he had gone out of sight, was covered in oil as a pipe slipped from the bracket holding it on the wall. Now highly annoyed Leia grabbed the pipe and forced it back into place.

In the cockpit Han had set the ship into hyperspace, he turned to find Leia, but saw her standing in the door way covered in engine oil.

"What the hell happened to you?" He asked getting up and helping get the thick, foul smelling oil off his wife.

"A pipe broke," Leia explained, "I fixed it though."

"The _Falcon's _just jealous," Han told her.

'No I'm NOT!' Appeared on one of the screens.


	2. Chapter 2

**This chapter has been sitting around on my floppy disk for about half a year (I actually forgot about it till last night). So this is another chapter to therapist falcon in which Leia talks to the _Falcon_, it's set just after the kiss scene in ESB. Thank you for the reviews for the fist chapter by the way.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Enjoy!**

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Leia crept into the _Falcon's_ cockpit. She wanted to find somewhere peaceful to search her feelings for Han, sadly on the ship of Han Solo there was no where that didn't remind her of him. Usually she would have gone and hid in the engine room, but Han and Chewie were trying to get the hyperdrive back online. Quietly she shut the door and collapsed into on of the seats. She realised it was Han's seat, but tried to push that fact to the back of her mind, all the other seats weren't very comfortable.

She turned her mind to the real problem, what _were_ here real feelings for Han Solo.

"Does he really love me?" She wondered aloud.

'Probably,' appeared on one of the screens in front of her.

"Han is that you playing around?" Leia asked, annoyed that she couldn't get a moments peace.

'No, it's the _Falcon_' the screen said.

"Well if you are the _Falcon_," Leia thought of a question that only a ship could answer in a matter of seconds, "What are the exact co-ordinates for Alderaan?"

Within half a second the coordinates appeared on the screen, Leia had a vague idea of what they were and the ones of the screen seemed to be okay.

_Okay, I'm talking to Han's ship_, Leia thought, the fact shocked her slightly less than the fact Han had kissed her less than an hour ago.

'So what has my idiot owner done now?' The _Falcon_ asked.

"He…" Leia trailed off, feeling herself blush bright red and then she said in a whisper, "he kissed me."

'At last!' The ship seemed to be happy.

"What do you mean 'at last'?!" Leia was now angry.

'I mean that he has spent the past few days moping around and _not_ fixing my hyperdrive, I wondered what was wrong with him.'

"So he does love me?" Leia asked slightly confused, somehow she couldn't imagine the Corellian space pirate in love with anyone, let alone _her_.

'Yes,' appeared on the screen.

"But he always argues with me."

'Well he has trouble letting his feelings show, it drives me insane.'

"You're not the only one he drives insane," Leia muttered, the ship would have laughed if she could.

'He just constantly complains to me about all his misfortunes and then doesn't really do anything about them,' It seemed the ship liked complaining about her owner, 'and all of the modifications keep making me break down, so _I_ get shouted at for that when _I_ never asked to have so many systems put in me.'

"I never asked to be the leader of the rebellion," Leia said quietly, "It's just when Alderaan got destroyed anger took over me and I ended up working for hours on end. Now that I think about it I never really had a life of my own, it was just missions to planets that _could _help us but ending up being shot at by Stormtroopers after the contacts betrayed us. I ended up forcing all my feelings deep down inside me because I knew if someone else I cared about was killed I wouldn't ever be able to get over it."

'You really have had a bad life,' the ship said, 'I remember Han getting really angry about the high council using you and the destruction of your planet to get sympathy.'

They were silent for a while.

"I've never really been able to work out my feelings for Han," Leia told the _Falcon_.

'I don't really know anything about love,' the _Falcon_ admitted, 'but I gather it makes people want to stay with each over for ever.'

Leia smiled, "The only time I truly feel safe is when I'm with him."

'So do you love him?'

"I'm not really too sure. I've never actually been in love with anyone, so I've got no idea what it feels like," Leia started to realise how lonely her life had been, studying for one exam or another, arguing for bills to be passed in the senate and being one of the leaders of the rebellion against the Empire. "Until Han and Luke came along I never really had any friends."

'Luke's the blond kid, isn't he?' The ship tried to remember him.

"Yes, I really care about him, but like a brother, I couldn't really see him as anything else."

'Do you see Han as a brother?' The _Falcon _asked.

"No, defiantly not. When he kissed me…" She stopped and thought for a moment, "When he kissed me I realised that he was the most important person in my life." She was silent and then said, "I guess I do love him." Leia smiled, "Talking to you is like talking to the big sister I never had."

A happy smile appeared on the screen, 'I don't know why, but I don't mind giving Han up to you.'

"You love him as well?" Leia asked, slightly scared by the fact a _ship_ could fall in love, "I thought you said you had no idea of what love was."

'I lied.'

"About Han or not knowing about love?"

'Not knowing about love. Han may constantly complain to me and add stupid modifications I don't want, but I always have loved him. I think he sees me more like a troublesome little sister though, especially when I squirted his ex-girlfriend with oil.'

Leia laughed, "So you wouldn't mind if say," she thought for a event that might make the ship jealous, "me and Han got married."

'I might be a bit jealous,' the _Falcon_ admitted.


End file.
